Smash Seed: The Senshi Chronicles
by HomestarOtaku
Summary: Senshi, leader of the guild Smash Seed, was one of the greatest Brawl players in the world. Now see how it all began...
1. Prologue

Prologue

We see a blue-haired swordsman dressed in white, standing atop a massive platform suspended in the middle of deep space. He flashes his thin, straight sword all around him, leaping from end to end of the platform, awaiting new challengers.

His name is Marth, and he's ready for anything.

This is his story…well, actually my story. That's right. I am that swordsman. Or rather, I play as that swordsman on an online server-based sect of Super Smash Bros. Brawl—or Dairantō Smash Brothers X as we in Japan call it—called Dairantus. My name is Sasuke, but you're free to call me Senshi; that's my username. I don't mean to brag, but I have a reputation for being one of the greatest Brawl players who ever lived, rightfully so; I've won many individual and team tournaments in my time as a Brawl player. You've probably heard stories by now of my adventures with my guild, Smash Seed, but let's just say that things weren't always as they were before I met them. Why don't I show you?

* * *

My time spent playing the original Super Smash Bros as a child wasn't very eventful at all. Of course, those were the days when my childhood friends, Yukari, Shizuma, and Kentarō, would come by to play with me from time to time. And then, of course, there was always the time where Kentarō and Shizuma would…okay, that's a little too far back.


	2. Crimson Kong

Chapter 1: Crimson Kong

"Another day, another victory for me," I thought, standing atop the series of stone platforms in the sky that was Skyworld.

I had just defeated a gray palette Lucario player named Dangeresque1872—albeit just barely—in my first fight in Dairantus and prepared to leave for another server. Thinking back, I should've known that sooner or later, the name of Dangeresque1872 would come back to haunt me. Meanwhile, in real life, I had left Japan to study abroad in America, where I heard of Dairantus and eagerly joined. Anyway, just then…

"'Ey, where do ya think you're goin'?" said a voice behind me.

I spun around to see a red palette Donkey Kong player climbing up to the platform.

"So, you're Senshi, ain't ya?"

"You are correct," I said in my best English at the time. "Who are you?"

"The name's 4NGRYCh|_|k, an' don'tcha forget it. I heard you just joined Dairantus, an' I've been searchin' everywheah for ya."

"You come to challenge me?"

"Of course. 'S there any othah reason? Whaddya say?"

I thought about this for a moment, and then accepted his challenge: a classic three-stock match with no items and no time limit. However, I felt it would be necessary to pick a more suitable stage for our match. I should've guessed 4NGRYCh|_|k would choose Battlefield; it, a giant stone platform accompanied by several smaller platforms, was the perfect stage for the both of us.

We each took our starting positions on different platforms and prepared for battle. 4NGRYCh|_|k wasted no time leaping towards me, screaming at the top of his lungs. He tried a forward air attack against me, which I sidestepped and countered with a down air attack as I fell through my platform. He bounced off the ground as I followed up with an up air attack that propelled him high into the air, but as I came for another attack, he struck me with a down air attack, sending me plummeting to the ground. I quickly got up and invoked Counter, but 4NGRYCh|_|k paused, grabbed me, and carried me to the ledge, but before he could throw me, I broke free. He used a down tilt to try to trip me, but I rolled behind him and countered with Dancing Blade. I ran up to him and tried to spike him with a down air attack, but he recovered in time to retaliate with an up air attack that knocked me into the air. I came down with a Shield Breaker, forcing 4NGRYCh|_|k to block after he came up onto the ledge. The shield broke, stunning 4NGRYCh|_|k and giving me time to hit him with a fully charged side smash that sent him out of the stage.

4NGRYCh|_|k quickly respawned and began charging a Giant Punch. I leapt up to the platform above me and tried to interrupt the charge with an up air attack, but he cancelled it at the last second and blocked. He returned the attack in kind, bouncing me off the ground with a down air attack and following up with an up air attack that sent me out of the stage (I tried invoking Counter too early).

I respawned and came at 4NGRYCh|_|k with another Dancing Blade, but again, he grabbed me. This time, however, he hit me several times before throwing me backwards and trying to follow up with a forward air attack. I quickly countered with a Dolphin Slash, enabling me to knock him back and get back on the stage. He quickly recovered, rolled towards me as I landed, hit me with an up tilt, and immediately followed up with a short hopping up air attack. I recovered as he tried to go for another up air attack and countered with a down air attack, knocking him down to the ground. I invoked Counter as he got up and tried to attack me, sending him flopping backwards a bit. Again, he recovered and rolled away as I came at him with another short hopping Shield Breaker. This time, he sidestepped and countered with a down smash, knocking me into the air. He completed his Giant Punch charge as I came down and tried to hit him again, and he blocked my forward air, grabbed me, carried me to the ledge, rolled me off, hopped after me, and hit me with his fully charged Giant Punch, sending me out of the stage. He fell into the abyss just a second later.

We both respawned and soon started fighting each other again. 4NGRYCh|_|k took the invincibility frame opportunity to charge his Giant Punch again, and I took that opportunity to try to interrupt his charge, but again I failed as he canceled the charge and blocked my down air attack. He tried to grab me again, but I sidestepped and grabbed him, throwing him downwards and following up with two short hopping forward air attacks. I tried to finish him with one last down air attack, but he countered with a vicious up air attack, sending me up in the air. He then recovered and hopped onto the stage just as I hopped to the right platform. He followed up with an up air attack, but I invoked Counter and repelled the attack. I followed up with another Dancing Blade, but he rolled behind me, grabbed me, and threw me backwards. He then followed up with a short hopping forward air attack, sending me down to the ground. I quickly got up and knocked him back, rushed towards him, and hit him with another short hopping forward air attack. He air dodged another down air attack and retaliated with a back air attack, knocking me away. He then recovered with Spinning Kong and tried to edge guard me, but I just barely made it back to the ledge with my Dolphin Slash. Unfortunately, he anticipated it, got back on the stage, drove me into the ground with a Headbutt, and smote me with his fully charged Giant Punch, sending me flying out of the stage.

"WHOOOOOO!" he hollered triumphantly as I respawned. "OH YEAH! LOOKIN' GOOD, Ch|_|k! YOU DA MAN! YOU DA MAN!"

"Well, I must say that was fun," I said. "If there's one thing I enjoy about this game, it's, how do you say, an epic match."

"You got that right. I 'aven't 'ad a fight like that in weeks; ya got no idea how great it feels ta just let it out aftah a match like that."

[I'll bet, but aren't you worried that other players will think you're loud and obnoxious?]

"'Scuse me?"

"Oh, sorry. I have a habit of lapsing back into Japanese when I talk to foreigners."

"Must be pretty embarrassin', eh?"

"I imagine you would have the same problem speaking to foreigners in their native languages."

"Yeah, 'cept I probably'll nevah 'ave that problem. I took three years 'a' Latin in high school, barely passed. Well, I gotta go. Maybe we'll see each othah later. Who knows?"

Suddenly, without warning, a black Bowser player dive bombed 4NGRYCh|_|k with a Bowser Bomb, sending him clear out of the server.

"AAAAGH! HE BIT ME WITH HIS BUTT!"

"4NGRYCh|_|k!" I shouted as the Bowser player turned to face me. [Who are you? What are you doing here?]

[Muhahahahahaha!] said the Bowser player. [I am Y4m1, the lord of—wait a minute. Sasuke? Is that you?]

[Shizuma? When did you start playing on Dairantus?]

[So it is you, after all. Nice to see you. Well, technically, I'm not seeing YOU you; I'm seeing your Dairantus avatar, but you get the picture.]

[You haven't changed a bit, have you?]


	3. A Grave Mistake

Chapter 2: A Grave Mistake

[I can't say I have,] said Shizuma—or rather Y4m1. [Sorry I interrupted your little conversation.]

[Shizuma,] I said, [you don't have to apologize to me; apologize to the person you just knocked out of the server.]

[Oh yeah, right. I might as well. Anyway, it was nice seeing you again, Sasuke. Yukari told me to say hi to you for her.]

[Tell her I said hi as well.]

[I will. You should contact her sometime. See you later.]

[Goodbye.]

With that, Y4m1 left the server, leaving me with nothing to do.

"Well, I suppose that's enough action for me today," I thought. "I'll just leave some for tomorrow."

Without saying another word, I left the server and logged out for the rest of the day.

…

A few days later, I was challenged to a 2-minute time match with a blue palette Ike player. The stage we fought on was Pirate Ship: a cartoon style sailing ship in the middle of a vast ocean.

We took our starting positions at opposite ends of the ship. Knowing that Ike is much slower than Marth but has superior range, I moved in cautiously but aggressively, striking the player with a midair Dancing Blade. He came back at me with a forward air attack, but missed as I landed and sidestepped. I hit with another Dancing Blade, this time knocking him skyward, and followed up with a tipped up air attack, propelling him further. He tried to dive bomb me with Aether, but again missed as I rolled behind him and smote him with a tipped side smash. He flew to the other end of the stage, where I met his Quick Draw recovery with Counter. I then delivered a tipped down air attack, sending him deep into the water, where he sank beneath the bow of the ship and was KO'd.

The Ike player respawned and hit me with a vicious down air attack, driving me down to the deck. I quickly got up as he landed and rather foolishly tried to hit him with a side smash, but he sidestepped and countered with two jabs followed by a partially charged up smash that I failed to nullify with Counter. I sailed high into the air and disappeared over the horizon as a star.

I respawned and charged at the Ike player, hitting him with a neutral air attack that he failed to sidestep. He hit me with a standard combo, knocking me back, but as he tried to follow up with a Quick Draw, I invoked Counter and catapulted him away. I rushed towards him and struck him with two forward air attacks and a down air attack.

"5…" blared the video game announcer's voice.

The Ike player recovered with Aether, knocking me out of the air.

"4…"

He got back on the stage as I hopped back towards him.

"3…"

He tried to invoke his own Counter as I prepared to impale him with Shield Breaker.

"2…"

Just as his Counter ended, I unleashed my attack and stabbed him, sending him careening out of the stage.

"1…"

He sailed out of the border and was blasted away in a pillar of white light.

"Time!"

In the end, the score was close, but…

"The winner is…Marth," said the video game announcer.

"Well played," I said.

The Ike player said nothing as he left the server. I wondered what Y4m1 had been up to since I had seen him a few days before and debated whether or not I should send him an invite. No sooner had I decided not to after checking his online status—offline—than a green palette Lucario player dropped in.

[Oh, hello,] I said in my native Japanese.

The player said nothing.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I have a habit of doing that," I said in English. "Hello."

Again, the player said nothing.

"Excuse me, but do you have a microphone?"

The player sent me a message, saying "No."

"I see. I am Senshi. What is your name?"

The player sent me another message, this one with the word, grave.

"Why are you here?"

The player sent me another message. "I challenge u."

"I accept. 3 stock, Final Destination, no items."

I set the rules and changed the stage on the server to Final Destination, a massive platform suspended in the middle of deep space.

We took our starting positions on each side of the platform and prepared for battle. Seeing grave's player card, I guessed she—yes, you do have to show your gender—was a highly experienced player like myself, so I approached cautiously as she charged her Aura Sphere. Once I was close enough, I used a forward air attack to swat her away. She rolled behind me and countered with a standard combo. I came back around with a Dancing Blade, catching her off guard. Suddenly, hordes of Bob-ombs started appearing out of nowhere and wandering around, trying to blow the two of us up.

"What's going on? I thought u said no items," said a message from grave.

"I did," I replied. "I didn't do this, honestly."

At that moment, a Bob-omb walked into me and exploded, catapulting me into the air. Another Bob-omb did the same to grave, and a third appeared right over her head, landing on her and blasting her out of the stage.

"What's going on?" I thought as a fourth Bob-omb blew me out of the stage. "Who could be doing this?"

We both respawned and tried to resume fighting each other, all the while dodging Bob-ombs left and right, but it was all in vain. Eventually, there were so many Bob-ombs on the stage that the server crashed. Needless to say, grave wasn't happy.

"I'm leaving," she said in a final message.

And leave she did. I decided to report this mishap to the server admins, hoping that they would eventually rectify the problem.


	4. Johnny B Goode

Chapter 3: Johnny B Goode

The next day, I found myself on a new server. The stage: Hyrule Temple, a massive set of stone ruins suspended high in the sky.

"This must be the place," I thought, looking around. "Now where did that player say…?"

No sooner did I think this than I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around to see a brown palette Ganondorf player charging his Warlock Punch in front of me. I instinctively invoked Counter just before his attack connected and sent him flying out of the stage.

"Phew. That was close. Who was that?"

"UGH, NO!" wailed the Ganondorf player as he respawned and crouched down in despair. "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"

"What is it?" I asked.

"You ruined my perfect record!"

"You mean to tell me that you are not a tournament admin?"

"I…I don't even know how to play this game!"

"Then you might as well quit while you're behind, dude," came a young boy's voice.

The Ganondorf player and I turned our attention to a yellow palette Ness player entering the server. He hopped, skipped, and jumped his way to our position.

"I've been searching the farthest reaches of Dairantus for you, UltimateAdmin, and now it's time to pay for all the innocent newcomers you've suckered with your 'Ultimate Brawl Tournament' prank."

"No! GO AWAY!" whined the Ganondorf player.

"Oh, I'll go, alright, after I'm done spreading your avatar's charred carcass up one side of this server and down the other."

"Leave him alone," I said. "What did he do to you? My username is Senshi, by the way."

"Nice. Just call me…" the Ness player paused, detonating a PK Flash atop himself, "Johnny7."

"Was that pause really necessary?"

"Yes. It helps build up dramatic tension. We see it all the time in movies and TV shows."

"True, but this is no TV show or movie."

"Right. Now get out of my way, or I'll have to beat you to a pulp too."

"He…he's lying!" said UltimateAdmin. "I-I-I-I really am a tournament administrator. I just couldn't—"

"That's not what you told me when you knocked me clean out of this very server, UltimateAdmin."

"Enough!" I shouted. "I would prefer to have this not escalate into a war of words. Perhaps we should settle this dispute another way between the two of you. One on one, one stock each, low items, Hyrule Temple."

"Sounds fair to me," said Johnny7.

"But how will I…how will I win?" said UltimateAdmin.

"Use your imagination."

The two combatants took their starting positions and began to fight. Johnny7 hopped, skipped, and jumped his way to UltimateAdmin, who was ready to hit the boy with a Warlock Punch. Johnny7 dodged the blow in midair, landed, grabbed, repeatedly pummeled, and tossed UltimateAdmin into the air, following up with a PK Thunder to knock him further upwards. UltimateAdmin came down with another Warlock Punch, but he missed again as Johnny7 rolled behind him, turned around, short hopped, and hit him with a back air attack. He then shot UltimateAdmin with a PK Fire, trapping him in the flames, and then socked him with a side smash, sending him to the edge of the stage.

As UltimateAdmin clung to the ledge for dear life, Johnny7 walked up to see him hanging there.

"Any last words?" said Johnny7.

"Please don't report me!" whined UltimateAdmin.

"That's what they always say. And too late; I just did. One way or the other, this is the end of the line for you, scammer. Now say goodbye!"

But before Johnny7 could send UltimateAdmin plummeting to his demise, a turquoise palette Mr. Game and Watch player suddenly ran in from behind me, passed me, and tore across the stage towards Johnny7 and UltimateAdmin.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" he screamed. "IT'S GODZILLATRON!"

"Godzillatron? Who or what is…?" I thought, turning around to see an oddly colored Giga Bowser bot appearing in front of me.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed.

"Oh my god!" said Johnny7.

"Oh my god!" said a voice behind me.

I turned around to see a red, texture hacked Sonic player with clock faces on his gloves.

"Wait. Who are you?" I said.

"Oh. Hey. What's up? I'm Future," said the Sonic player.

"Nice to meet you. My username is Senshi."

"Your name is a user?"

"What?"

"Oh well. It doesn't matter anyway, because I'm not here."

"What do you mean?"

"Turn around and I'll show you."

"This is ridiculous."

I turned back around to face the Giga Bowser bot.

"Of course you are…"

Then I turned back around to see that the Sonic player was gone.

"How did he do that?"

My question was quickly interrupted by the Giga Bowser bot's half-crazed roar, prompting me to flee for my life. I knew the bot was too big to follow me down to the lower levels of the stage, so there I headed. To my surprise, the bot simply ignored me and plodded straight toward the other end of the stage, where Johnny7 and UltimateAdmin were. I felt that I had to do something to help them, but I remembered that when Bowser turns into Giga Bowser, he gains Super Armor, so even if I had hit the bot, I wouldn't be able to make it flinch. It marched straight toward Johnny7 and UltimateAdmin, performed a side smash, and blew them both out of the server before leaving to chase them down.

"Whoa," I thought. "That was scary… I wonder what's available at the store."

I left the server and decided to head to the Dairantus Store to see if there was anything available.


	5. A Pain in the Patella

Chapter 4: A Pain in the Patella

Going to the store was actually a fairly tricky process back before a patch came out and made it easier to access. First you had to log out of the server you were currently in, and then you had to log in to a new server to access the Dairantus Plaza. From there, you had to navigate a maze of portals to other servers before you could finally find the store, but after a few minutes of getting lost around Dairantus, I finally made it.

The store was rather simple; it looked almost like a convenience store. Standing behind the desk was what looked like a default palette Kirby player with a Zelda hat. I guessed whoever it was to be the shopkeeper, so I approached the player.

"Hello," I said. "Do you have any unlockables as of September?"

"Absolutely," said the shopkeeper. "I've got skins, stages, skin stages, stage skins, items, stickers, accessories, item accessories, characters, character items…what can I get for you, fine sir?"

"Is the old Dragon's Lair stage finished yet?"

"Certainly."

"Then may I please have a copy?"

"Sure thing. I'll get it from the back room."

In case you were wondering, the stage known as Dragon's Lair was supposedly modeled after the final level of _Fire Emblem: Sword of Seals_. I heard rumors that it was supposed to be an unlockable stage in Super Smash Bros. Melee but was never finished, so when I heard that it would be released for Brawl via Dairantus, I took it well. Yukari, however, had to be tranquilized because she was so excited that she nearly smashed my Wii with a sledgehammer—which I still have no idea how she acquired. Anyway, back to the story.

The shopkeeper went behind a door and returned a few minutes later with a CD in his stubby hand, handing it to me.

"That'll be 99 cents, fine sir," he said.

"Thank you," I said, taking the CD and paying the shopkeeper.

I wondered why he didn't just offer me a new patch, but as I turned to leave, a pink palette Zelda player walked by me. Feeling curious, I decided to see what she was up to.

"Hello," she said. "Do you have any copy of the new Twilight Palace stage?"

"Absolutely," said the shopkeeper. "I'll get you one from the back room."

The shopkeeper went behind a door and returned a few minutes later with a CD in his stubby hand, handing it to her.

"That'll be 99 cents, fine ma'am," he said.

"A CD?" asked the Zelda player. "With all due respect, sir, how will this unlock Twilight Palace on my Wii?"

"The same way all the other stages were unlocked, of course."

"By releasing it as a downloadable patch?"

"Exactly."

"Then why does the CD say 'DUMMY?'"

"That's a typo; it's supposed to say 'Dragon's Lair.'"

"'Dragon's Lair?' I said Twilight Palace, not Dragon's Lair. I already have that stage."

"That's another typo; it's supposed to say 'PATCH.'"

"Then why is there fine print that reads 'This code is for a blank stage template?'"

"The same reason I said this isn't a store."

"You never said that."

"Said what?"

"You never said this wasn't a store."

"Yes I did."

"When?"

"Just now. This isn't a store."

"Then why does that sign behind your desk say 'Store?'"

"…This is a store. Can't you read?"

"Wha—? But you just said this isn't a store!"

"No, I said this isn't an equestrian center."

"What's an equestrian center?"

"Sorry. You'll have to speak up. My mike just went dead."

"Then how did you talk to me just now?"

"I'm sorry. I can't hear you. My speakers just went dead."

"You—but—ugh. I'd like to speak to your supervisor."

"Okay."

The shopkeeper disappeared beneath the floor behind the counter, and about a second later, what appeared to be the same player wearing a fake moustache appeared.

"Hello, there," said the player. "What can I do you for?"

"You're the same guy," said the Zelda player.

"I don't know what you're talking aboot."

"See? I told you this lady was trouble," said the shopkeeper reappearing beside the supervisor.

"I'm sorry, but you're scaring all my customers. I'm afraid you'll have to leave this equestrian center."

"What the hell is an equestrian center?" said the Zelda player.

"Then I guess I'll have to call the police. Police!"

From a door by the counter emerged what looked like two blue palette Kirby players with blue Captain Falcon hats and Ray Guns. I guessed they were supposed to be low level admins.

"What is it?" said one of the admins.

"This young lady here is causing me trouble," said the supervisor. "Take her away."

"Trouble? What kind of trouble?"

"I'll tell you what kind of trouble: none," said the Zelda player. "These two baloney brains are trying to deny me a patch for a stage that was released three days ago. I just wish they were actual players so I could report them for scamming."

"Is this true, sir?"

"Absolutely not," said the shopkeeper. "She's just being an ungrateful little wench."

"Wha—?" said the Zelda player. "I don't even know what I just got, and you're calling me ungrateful?"

"Listen, ma'am," said the other admin.

"You know what? Forget it. I'll just go to some other store from now on."

The furious Zelda player threw her CD at the supervisor, narrowly missing him, and then started to storm out of the store when she spotted me.

"Oh, sorry. Were you in line?"

[No, I was just on my way out,] I said.

The Zelda player paused for a moment.

[Uh…This one is…My soda funky muck balls…vacuum royalpain22…] she stammered.

"Oh, sorry. I have a habit of lapsing into my native language," I said.

"That's okay. I'm still learning Japanese. Well, as much as I'd like to stay and talk, I have something very important to take care of."

"Very well. Goodbye."

"See you later."

With that, the Zelda player left the store, and as my eyes followed her—not romantically or anything, by the way—I noticed a poster on the wall near the door.

"Dairantus Grand Tourney?" I thought. "That sounds interesting…"


	6. Build a Guild

Chapter 5: Build-a-Guild

Two days later, when I logged in, I noticed that several players sent me invites to join their guilds. I took a look at their reputations and noticed that they were all…well, let's say lacking in any insight. I didn't feel like joining any guilds with people I didn't know, but guessing that they all had something to do with the upcoming Dairantus Grand Tourney, I decided to form my own guild.

"Hmm," I thought. "I wonder what I should call it…"

After a fairly long period of blank thoughts, one name came to mind: Smash Seed. Yes, I'm aware of how clunky it sounds, but it was all I could think of at the time. Anyway, one player obviously doesn't make a guild; you need at least four to start one. With that in mind, I posted an announcement on the Dairantus forum for an auditioning session for the Dairantus Grand Tourney. All a player had to do to join the guild was defeat me—or at least put up a good fight—in a three stock match with no items. Needless to say, a lot of players were very eager to join, among them several players I thought I had met before.

The first person to try and join my budding guild was a red Donkey Kong player. I recognized him the moment I saw his scorecard; it was 4NGRYCh|_|k, the first player I had lost to since I joined Dairantus.

"'Ey, I remember ya," he said. "You're that Marth player I beat a while back. I 'aven't 'ad a good fight like that in months. So, ya ready for a rematch?"

"I was born ready," I said.

We took our positions on Final Destination, and on cue, we charged at each other. A screaming, roaring 4NGRYCh|_|k tried to grab me, but I short hopped and slashed at him repeatedly with a Dancing Blade, knocking him back a bit. I came at him with another short hopping attack, this time swinging my sword at his head, but he got up and swatted me away. I quickly recovered and sidestepped as he tried to hit me with a short hopping forward air attack, then followed up with an up tilt to launch him into the air and proceeded to strike him with an up air attack. He air dodged and countered with an up tilt of his own, propelling me higher. As he came up to hit me again, I sent him hurtling to the ground with a tipped down air. He rolled out of the way as I slashed at him from above, and then countered with a down tilt, tripping me. He dashed forward and tried to Headbutt me into the ground, but I rolled out of the way just before his head could connect. I seized the opportunity to dive at him with a Shield Breaker, but he sidestepped, grabbed me, pummeled me several times, heaved me onto his back, and rolled me off the ledge. I immediately used a Dolphin Slash to counter his approaching forward air attack and made it back onto the stage, but no sooner did I land than he recovered, rolled towards me, and grabbed me again. This time, he carried me off the ledge and bounced me off the underside of the stage and into the abyss.

I respawned to see him recover and briefly charge a Giant Punch. He rolled out of the way as I swung my sword at him again, barely missing his head as he sidestepped. He buried me in the ground as I landed with a Headbutt, but I quickly escaped before he could strike me with a Hand Slap and knocked him back with another Dancing Blade. As he tried to recover, I spiked him with a short hopping down slash, sending him plummeting into the abyss below.

4NGRYCh|_|k respawned and charged another Giant Punch for a second before cancelling the charge and knocking me back with a standard crosscut combo. I came in with another forward slash, striking him in midair as he tried to hit me with a short hopping up air attack. As I landed, I dashed towards him and tried to hit him with a dash attack, but he rolled behind me and hammered me with a down smash. I bounced high into the air and plummeted towards him, but as he came at me with another up air attack, I spiked him with a down air. We hit each other hard, and he spiraled downwards to the ground, but I sailed over the horizon and disappeared as a star.

I respawned again and came at him with another Dancing Blade, this time propelling him into the air. I quickly followed up with a jumping slash attack, sending him higher into the air. As he came down, he air dodged, possibly anticipating another attack, but I came at him with a Shield Breaker, stabbing him just as his dodge frames expired. He wasn't quite out of the stage just yet, but I knew it wouldn't be much longer. As he tried to recover, I ran to the edge of the stage and smote him with a tipped side smash, knocking him out of the stage.

4NGRYCh|_|k respawned and again charged his Giant Punch. I took that opportunity to try to interrupt his charge, but again I failed as he canceled the charge and blocked my forward air attack. He tried to grab me again, but I sidestepped and grabbed him, throwing him downwards and following up with two short hopping forward air slashes. I tried to finish him with one last down air slash, but he countered with a vicious up air attack, sending me up in the air. He then recovered and hopped onto the stage just as I hopped over him and landed beside him. I sidestepped as he tried to Headbutt me into the ground, and then followed up with another Dancing Blade, but he rolled behind me, grabbed me, and threw me backwards. He then charged in with a short hopping forward air attack, sending me down to the ground. I quickly got up and knocked him back, rushed towards him, and struck him with another short hopping forward air attack. He dodged the attack and retaliated with an up tilt, knocking me away. He then tried to finish me off with a midair Giant Punch as I fell, but just before his fist met my face, I invoked Counter and sent him flying out of the stage, ending the battle.

"Whew," said 4NGRYCh|_|k as he respawned. "That was rough. Nice game, dude."

"You as well," I said. "In fact, I am glad to say that you are the first member of my new guild."

"Well, that's just great. 'Ow am I supposed ta—wait a sec. What'd you say?"

"I said you are the first member of my new guild."

"YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME!"

4NGRYCh|_|k's excited scream was so loud that I almost had to take my headphones off in the real world.

"Please, not so loudly," I moaned.

"Oh, sorry, dude," said 4NGRYCh|_|k. "Force 'a' habit."


	7. I Really Need a Break

Chapter 6: I Really Need a Break

Over the next few days, at least four dozen players auditioned for my guild, but in the end, only five were accepted, only one of whom—Johnny7 the Ness player—actually beat me. Needless to say, I think I could've won had I not made that one mistake of invoking Counter too early and letting him strike me with his baseball bat. After my fight against a turquoise Mr. Game and Watch player on Hanenbow—I think his username was i10v3myL1p5 or something like that—he made a joke.

"Hey, why did Marth cover himself in mayonnaise?" he asked.

"Why?" I asked.

"He wanted to make a hero sandwich! Get it?"

I thought it was rather funny, but the other guild members were unimpressed.

"Dude, that ain't funny," said 4NGRYCh|_|k. "That's just…no, that ain't corny; that's a big chunk 'a' corn theah."

"Corny?" said i10v3myL1p5. "What kind of corn? Indian corn? Blue corn? Sweet corn? Popcorn shrimp? Take your pick. I've got more."

":p" texted grave.

"Tell me about it," said royalpain22.

"Snoresville," said Johnny7.

"Dude, nobody says 'Snoresville' anymore," said 4NGRYCh|_|k.

"Sure they do."

"Name one person othah than yourself who does."

"Kevin."

"Kevin 'o?"

"Kevin from 'Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy.'"

"That doesn't count."

"It doesn't?"

"'Course it doesn't. Get with the program."

"Alright, that's enough, you two," said royalpain22. "We can argue about who says what later. In the meantime, we need to think of a better name for this guild of ours. I mean seriously. 'Smash Seed?' What kind of name is that?"

"Sorry," I said, "but that was all I could think of."

"How about 'LotusClan?'"

"That is already taken."

"What about 'Tiers 4 Fiers?'" asked i10v3myL1p5.

"That's taken as well."

"'The Angels Elite?'" said Johnny7.

"That's taken too."

"'RoseRed?'" said royalpain22.

"Taken."

"'Fire within Shadow?'" said Johnny7.

"Taken."

"'Megaprimatus Kong?'" said 4NGRYCh|_|k.

"Taken."

"'The Order of the Stick?'" said i10v3myL1p5.

"Taken."

"'Hikyou Sentai Urotander?'" said royalpain22.

"Taken."

"'Smashers, Inc.?'" said 4NGRYCh|_|k.

"Good suggestion, but taken."

"Wow," said i10v3myL1p5. "You really didn't have much to work with. You know, it kind of reminds me of the time when I worked with this Lucario player named Dangeresque1872. That guy had such a temper—no offense to you, 4NGRYCh|_|k—that just before I could finish him off, he logged out of my server. I think he suffers from mood swings, personally. I'm not a therapist or anything."

"Did you say 'Dangeresque1872?'" said royalpain22.

"Yes. What of it?"

"I fought him yesterday and he did the same thing to me before I could deliver the final blow. What do you know about him?"

"Well, it's kind of a long story…

"Early on in my days in Dairantus, I was an expert hacker. Dangeresque1872 and I usually hacked for prototype items and custom stages. Back then, there weren't as many admins to tell us what to do, but then one day, Dangeresque1872 had an idea. An eeeeeeeeeeeevil idea.

"He said, 'Hey, i10v3myL1p5, I have an eeeeeeeeeeeevil idea.'

"'Like what?' I said.

"'You know how we're a couple of hackers, right? Why don't we take our hacks to the next level?'

"'What? Are you stupid? Even I know when enough is enough.'

"'i10v3myL1p5, think of all the possibilities. We could elevate our meaningless existence. We could be the greatest Brawl players the world has ever seen.'

"'There are no possibilities other than ridicule and debauchery (whatever that means).'

"'It means wickedness or something like that. I don't know; I never bothered to look it up in a dictionary. Anyway, if you're not with me, you're my enemy.'

"'Only a sith deals in absolutes…'

"'What is this? _Star Wars?_'

"'No, but it was a classic line that I couldn't resist saying. Anyway, bring it on!'

"I fought him with everything I had, but we were just too much for each other. We actually had to leave all our hacks off as we fought. In the end, though, I had a full Oil Panic ready for him as he invoked Double Team too early. I dumped the oil on him and blew him out of the server and seemingly into oblivion—I had reported him for hacking beforehand. From that day forward, I swore I would never hack again. The end."

I was rather enthralled in the story, but everyone else seemed to be sleeping somehow.

"What are you guys? An oil painting?"

This prompted everyone else to wake up and wonder what i10v3myL1p5 had just said.

"Long story short. We were pals. He turned evil. We had a fight. I won. He was banned."

"Alright, that makes sense," said royalpain22. "Anyway, back to naming our guild—"

"I vote 'Smash Seed.'"

"…"

"What? I like it."

"Very well. If anyone has any objections, speak up," I said.

Nobody spoke up.

"-_-" texted grave.

"Very well. This meeting is adjourned," I said, logging out.

I still wonder why nobody spoke up when I called out the name for our guild, and I still don't think 'Smash Seed' is a good name for it, but nonetheless, that's how everything turned out.


	8. Let's Get One Thing Straight Here

Chapter 7: Let's Get One Thing Straight Here

A few days later, we decided to practice for the upcoming Dairantus Grand Tourney.

"What about Dangeresque1872?" said royalpain22. "If he's as bad as i10v3myL1p5 said he is, we have to be alert."

"Now that you mention it," I said, "when I first met grave, she and I were interrupted by a series of random Bob-ombs despite my having turned all items off."

"Ya think 'e'll try an' poll that stunt again?" said 4NGRYCh|_|k.

"Nah," said i10v3myL1p5. "If I remember him, he's probably brooding over the fact that I defeated him fair and square all those years ago, and he's probably just pranking random players to get under my skin, but that won't…"

This monologue went on for almost two minutes, during which a gray Lucario player appeared behind i10v3myL1p5. Of course, we're all depicted as emotionless video game characters in Dairantus, but the rest of us simply stared at the figure behind the Mr. Game and Watch player.

"He's behind me, isn't he?"

i10v3myL1p5 turned around and saw the player.

"Remembr meh, Lips?" texted the Lucario player.

"WTF Dangeresque Y R U here?" texted i10v3myL1p5.

"U didn't think U would leave meh dat EZ."

"OMG Dangeresque U hax go die!"

"Lolz I'm teh roxxor and U can't beat meh."

"Hey guys," said Johnny7, "what are you two saying?"

"Well, it's kind of a long story—" said i10v3myL1p5.

"Not dat agn," texted Dangeresque1872. "Teh reedrz know already."

"What readers?" said i10v3myL1p5, prompting Dangeresque1872 to pause awkwardly.

"Uh…oh. That must've slipped my mind," he said.

"YOU CAN SPEAK?" exclaimed 4NGRYCh|_|k.

"DX" texted grave.

"I agree," said royalpain22. "Do you have your mic set too high or something, 4NGRYCh|_|k?"

"You crazy?" said 4NGRYCh|_|k. "'Course I don't 'ave my mic set too high. If I did, I'd blow my own eahdrums."

"TMI. TMI," said Dangeresque1872.

"Anyway, look, Dangeresque, if you're here ta join our guild, you're too late; auditions closed a few days ago."

"Who said I was here to audition for your guild? I just thought I'd drop by and tell my friend L1p5 here that I've been getting along just fine without him slowing me down."

"Me slowing you down?" said i10v3myL1p5. "First of all, how did you get back into Dairantus?"

"The easy way: I wasn't perma-banned," said Dangeresque1872.

"Then what will anybody perma-bond something with?"

Admittedly, I thought that pun was terrible, and the other guild members agreed.

"You guys might want to go to a different server. This could get ugly."

No sooner had we all transferred to a different server—server 22R, to be exact—than i10v3myL1p5 suddenly fell out of the sky screaming and landed on 4NGRYCh|_|k. The stage was Onett, by the way.

"URGH!" said 4NGRYCh|_|k as he threw i10v3myL1p5 off of him. "i10v3myL1p5, you okay? What happened?"

"Ugh," groaned i10v3myL1p5. "You want the long version or the short version?"

"Lemme guess. The long version's that ya 'ad a fight with Dangeresque1872 an' got your ass whupped, right?"

"Actually, that's the short version. The long version's that—"

"AAH! Don't tell me. Don't wanna know."

i10v3myL1p5 staggered to his feet and prepared to address us all.

"Well, wish me luck," he said, leaving the server again.

"You're going back there?" said Johnny7. "But didn't Dangeresque1872 just kick you clear out of the server?"

"He got lucky. I'll get him this time."

Almost as soon as he was out of sight, a wide assortment of noises signaled inhuman pain—I could've sworn I heard a monkey screech—and seconds later, i10v3myL1p5 fell back into server 22R, landing on a tree branch platform. He staggered to his feet and prepared to leave the server again.

"Okay, now I know something's fishy. I should be able to beat this guy."

And again, within seconds of disappearing from sight, he was back, lying on the ground.

"Alright, I swore I'd never hack again, but here goes."

This time, within seconds of his disappearing from the server, a loud buzzing noise began to sound from the battleground.

"GEEZ, LOUISE! WHAT IS GOIN' ON?" shouted a very disturbed 4NGRYCh|_|k over the buzzing noise.

"again with the screaming" texted grave.

"The server must've crashed!" shouted royalpain22.

"WHAT?" said 4NGRYCh|_|k.

"I SAID THE SERVER MUST'VE CRASHED!"

Within a minute or so, the buzzing noise stopped, and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now then," I said, "back to why we had all gathered in the first place."

"We know," said Johnny7. "There's this huge tourney coming, and we need to be prepared for it, so you gathered us all here to practice."

"I know you know. I was there. I know what I said."

"Kinda hard ta practice with only five guild membahs, though," said 4NGRYCh|_|k. "Whaddya suppose 'appened ta i10v3myL1p5?"

"?" texted grave.

"I don't know," said Johnny7.

"Me neither," said royalpain22.

"Well, I suppose that means this meeting is adjourned. We should probably get some rest after everything that happened today," I said.

"Whaddya talkin' about?" said 4NGRYCh|_|k. "We didn't do anything."

"You're right. We didn't, but i10v3myL1p5 did, and now that we know that this Dangeresque1872 person is on the loose, we have someone to keep an eye on him."

We all quietly logged out of the server one by one, with me being the last to log out, but before I did, I filed a complaint regarding Dangeresque1872's behavior. I realized that the server admins probably would take a long time to respond, though, so about two hours later, having finished all my schoolwork in the real world, I sat back down and logged back in to investigate.


	9. Red Herring Blues

Chapter 8: Red Herring Blues

The first thing I did in my investigation was contact a nearby admin patrolling server 62F. The stage was Green Hill Zone, a somewhat old fashioned track stage with a giant loop in the background. Just as a side note, all the admins play as fighting alloys; this one was a yellow fighting alloy.

"Hello," I said. "I would like to conduct an interview with you if you please."

"Would you like to try a combo meal?" said the admin.

"Uh, what?"

"$9.17. Sever your leg, please, sir."

"Could you repeat that? It sounded like you wanted me to sever my leg."

"Sever your leg, please. It's the greatest day."

"I am unsure of what you mean by all of this."

"Please enter your password."

"What password?"

The admin gave no response, instead choosing to play some obscure fast food restaurant theme music. After which, I heard the tune of a player waving a hammer around wildly.

"AAAH! Help! I'm helplessly waving a stick around!" said a random red Yoshi player waving what remained of a hammer.

"That was rather bizarre," I thought.

"Register does not contain more than 50 doctors," said the admin.

"Listen, I know you are a busy man," I said, "but could you please answer a few questions for me for just a few minutes?"

"Steve, drive around to the 7th window."

"What window? This is an online game!"

This went on for what I suppose was ten minutes before I finally gave up and left the server in frustration.

…

My next stop was server 30P, which featured a custom stage resembling one of the bases from Blood Gulch in Halo. Atop one of the platforms stood a red palette Lucas player and a default palette Diddy Kong player. As I approached them, I heard them talking to each other and read their gamertags: 51mm0n5 and GR1FST3R, respectively.

"Hey," said the Lucas player.

"Yeah?" said the Diddy Kong player.

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

"It's just one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God, watching everything, you know? With a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night."

"What? I mean why are we out here, in this canyon?"

"Oh. Uhhhhh. Yeah."

"What's all that stuff about God?"

"Uhhhhh. Hm? Nothing."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out."

"Mhm."

"I mean, the only reason that we set up a red base here is because they have a blue base over there, and the only reason they have a blue base over there is because we have a red base here."

"Yeah, that's because we're fighting each other."

"No, no, but I mean... even if we were to pull out today, and they were to come and take our base, they would have _two_ bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoop-dee-*******-doo."

"What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant Armada. Next thing I know, I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys!"

Clearly, they were in no mood to talk to me, so I decided to speak with a blue palette Kirby player and a default palette Sonic player standing on another platform. As I approached them, I heard them speak as well. Their gamertags were 7uck3r and ch|_|rch respectively.

"What are they doing?" said the Kirby player.

"..._What_?" said the Sonic player.

"I said what are they doing now?"

"God...damn! I'm getting so sick of answering that question—"

"You have a ******* rifle; I can't see ****! Don't ***** at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my **** all day—"

"Okay, okay, look: They're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all they're doing—that's all they _ever_ do—is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So five minutes from _now_, when you ask me 'what are they doing?' my answer's gonna be 'they're _still_ just talking, and they're _still_ just standing there!'"

"... What are they talking about?"

"You know what? I ******* hate you."

Obviously, they weren't about to talk to me either, so I left for another server.

…

I soon found myself on server 82R, which was hosting a small time tournament, and I had just stumbled into the final minute of the final round. The two players fighting were total amateurs, needless to say; one of them even asked which stick was the analog stick and which was the C stick. Nonetheless, I found someone to speak with: a green palette Jigglypuff player named SuperPrincessPuffy.

"Hi there," she said.

"Hello," I replied. "I am Senshi."

"I'm SuperPrincessPuffy. Nice to meet you."

"It is nice to meet you as well. May I have a word with you?"

"Sure thing. What's it about?"

"Do you know a player named Dangeresque1872?"

"Know him?" said a familiar voice from nearby. "She was there when I got my butt smeared everywhere a few hours ago."

I turned to see i10v3myL1p5 watching the tournament from what I guessed was about an inch or so away.

"Hello there, Senshi," he said. "I assume you've already met my little sister, SuperPrincessPuffy."

"i10v3myL1p5?" I said. "Why are you here?"

"Because…"

"Because what?"

"I'll tell you after I finish pausing dramatically…"

"Are you done yet?" said SuperPrincessPuffy.

"NO! SHUT UP!"


	10. Super Puffy Funtime

Chapter 9: Super Puffy Funtime

"So," I said, "why are you here?"

"Because," said i10v3myL1p5, "I've been sent here to take you down; I'm evil now."

"What"

"Really?" said SuperPrincessPuffy.

"Nah, I'm just kidding," said i10v3myL1p5. "But you should've seen the looks on your faces when I said that. Lolz."

"How would you know the looks on our faces?" I said. "We are in a video game."

"I know. Can you believe it?"

I10v3myL1p5's tone of voice suddenly turned serious.

"Okay, listen. After I got my butt smeared all over server…uh, what was it again?"

"22R," I said.

"Right. Anyway, after I got my butt smeared all over server 22R, I tried throwing in my best hacks and took on Dangeresque1872, and in retrospect, I should've known he'd see it coming. We both tried to fight with our best hacks, but we crashed the server, so he said, 'Ugh, this is getting nowhere. Let's just both admit that I'm better.'

"Then I said, 'What? And let you run around with a chicken missing a head? Fat chance, not that chances are thin or fat to begin with.'

"'That doesn't make any sense.'

"'I know. Can you believe it?'

"This sort of thing went on for about fifteen minutes or so, and in the end, we agreed to find the worst Brawl players we knew and pit them against each other. With that in mind, I choose you, SuperPrincessPuffy."

"ME?" exclaimed SuperPrincessPuffy. "I'm not that bad!"

"Oh really? Name one time you actually managed to KO me. Just one."

SuperPrincessPuffy was silent.

"I rest my case. Anyway, who said you had to fight this other player as you are? I'll train you. Besides, for all I know, Dangeresque1872's probably found some whiny tournament faker noob who only knows how to use one move. You at least know how to recover and air attack."

"That's true. Too bad that's all Jigglypuff is good at…"

"Then why did you pick it?"

"Why wouldn't I? It's so cute. You just picked Mr. Game and Watch as your avatar because you thought he was funny."

"Point taken."

"And look, I appreciate your offer to train me, but I think I'll just go with your friend, Senshi, here."

"What?" I said. "How did you pull me into this issue? We just met."

"True, but if you really are as good as my brother says you are, wouldn't it be better if you trained me instead of him?"

"Well, I suppose so, but I—"

"That's a good plan," said i10v3myL1p5. "I like that plan. Only problem is where we're going to train."

"I know just the place," said another familiar voice.

We all turned to see Johnny7 appearing in front of us.

"Follow me," he said. "Oh, and you wouldn't believe who Dangeresque1872 got under his wing: UltimateAdmin."

"What?" I said.

"Yeah, and you should've heard what he had to go through. I almost felt sorry for that poor noob…almost. He thought there was a B-up button somewhere on his controller. Even so, we'd better hurry. I don't know how much longer it'll be before he actually learns how to fight."

We hurried out of the server to a special custom stage that Johnny7 designed on server 99U.

…

The custom stage in mind very closely resembled one of the Break the Targets stages; it even had catapults, dummy targets, and trampolines.

"Where'd you get all this stuff?" asked SuperPrincessPuffy.

"At the store," said Johnny7. "You'd be surprised to see what's available there."

"Indeed," I said. "I once got a patch for the Dragon's Lair stage, and it worked perfectly."

"All I've ever gotten from the store was a sweatpants texture code," said i10v3myL1p5. "How the code put sweatpants on my avatar's head is beyond me."

"I still remember that," giggled SuperPrincessPuffy.

"Shut up."

"OW!"

Judging from the sound of SuperPrincessPuffy's squeal of pain, I guessed i10v3myL1p5 hit her in the real world.

"Stop, you two," I said. "If this training session is to continue, we need to do this properly."

"He's right," said Johnny7. "SuperPrincessPuffy, it's time for your first test."

"Which is…?" said SuperPrincessPuffy.

"Hit Senshi as hard as you can."

"Okay. That sounds easy enough."

She began charging her Rollout attack and aimed at me. Once the attack was fully charged, she loosed herself straight towards me, but I instinctively sidestepped and let her crash into a wall behind me.

"Just as I thought," said Johnny7. "You're a noob. And before you say anything, we know. You're still new at this. But don't worry; by the end of this training session, you'll become a fierce competitor to be reckoned with."

"Wait," said SuperPrincessPuffy. "I'm not done yet."

She leapt towards me and tried to hit me with a forward air attack, but again, I sidestepped, this time countering with a side tilt to knock her away.

"Okay, I'll get you this time."

She leapt at me again, this time using Rest to try and launch me into the air, but I invoked Counter and sent her hurtling into the wall.

"Okay. I give up."

"You truly are your brother's sister," I said, "but let's try an easier test."

We all leapt toward a higher platform on the stage and looked across its expanse at the floating targets.

"Break the targets without using any items."

"Sound easy," said SuperPrincessPuffy, starting off to the edge of the platform.

"Wait."

She stopped and turned to face me.

"Before you go, let me give you one piece of advice: your side B, Pound, carries you forward a short distance. Use it to reach targets after you've used up all your jumps."

"Thanks for the tip," said SuperPrincessPink.

It wasn't long before she broke nine of the targets with various attacks and reached the final target, but when she got there, she ended up directly beneath the target and ran out of jumps. She tried to use Pound, but she kept missing the target until she landed back on the ground below. She kept jumping again, but again came short. This time, she tried using a neutral air attack, but again came up short.

"I know I'm sucking right now," she said. "Don't tell me."


	11. When the Final Countdown Comes

Chapter 10: When the Final Countdown Comes

It took about a week of more or less nonstop training, but in the end, SuperPrincessPuffy was finally ready; she even managed to defeat me in a home run contest, though she did point out that I was still holding back—which is something I still have trouble doing to this day, but more on that later.

"Well," said SuperPrincessPuffy, "I guess I'm ready now."

"There's still one last test you must pass," I said.

"Don't tell me; I have to defeat you in a three-stock match, don't I?"

"Yes. How did you—?"

"It's such a cliché, even for this story."

"Excuse me?"

"Before the student who used to be a total noob can move on to face the arch villain, he or she has to either surpass his or her master after the master falls in battle or defeat the master in one final practice fight. It's like the oldest trick in the book."

"You know, she's got a point," said i10v3myL1p5. "Can't we just send her off against whoever it is that Dangeresque1872…uh, what was his name again?"

"UltimateAdmin, if I recall correctly," I said.

"Yeah, that's right. UltimateAdmin could very well have done the same series of tests and failed. Can't we just send her off against this guy and be done with it?"

"I suppose so."

"Right. Anyway, Dangeresque1872 told me to bring you two to server 38Y."

"Alright," said SuperPrincessPuffy. "Let's go."

Without another word, we all left for server 38Y.

…

The stage was Dragon's Lair—a stage I had previously received a patch for—a massive palace chamber lined with ornate dragon statues along the walls in the background below. Standing beside Dangeresque1872 at the other end of the stage was UltimateAdmin.

"So, this is Dragon's Lair," I thought, remembering that I had never actually gotten to play on the stage. "I pity Nintendo for not having finished it before."

"Wait a second," said i10v3myL1p5. "I thought you said the stage would be Final Destination."

"Yeah, well, I changed my mind," said Dangeresque1872.

"How come?"

"Final Destination's too cliché; if we fought there, we'd just be a giant joke for the readers."

"We already are kind of a giant joke. By the way, where did you get this stage?"

"I got it at the store. It's amazing what you can find there."

"Right. Anyway, remember the deal: one hack each, no invincibles, no instant kills, and no Final Smashes."

"Got it. UltimateAdmin, walk off the stage."

UltimateAdmin walked off the stage and respawned shortly afterwards as a black palette Link player with no sword or shield.

"Hey," said UltimateAdmin. "What happened to me?"

"I turned you into Dark Link," said Dangeresque1872. "You're just like regular Link, only much better."

"Oh really."

"Try your B-up move."

"Right, but I have a question. Which button's B-up again?"

I could almost see Dangeresque1872 facepalm in real life.

"Ummmmmmmmmm 'kay," said i10v3myL1p5. "SuperPrincessPuffy, you walk off."

"Okay," said SuperPrincessPuffy, walking off the stage and respawning shortly afterwards.

Needless to say, she was disappointed that she didn't look any different.

"Hey. How come I don't look any different?"

"Tap on B," said i10v3myL1p5.

"Um, okay."

She initiated Rollout and was immediately off like a rocket, colliding into me and knocking me back considerably.

"Wow! What did you do to me?"

"I suped up all your moves," said i10v3myL1p5. "You're now Super SuperPrincessPuffy."

He then turned to me and continued talking.

"Senshi, you might want to leave. This could get ugly."

"Ah, let him stay. It'll be all the more fun to watch if his little pupil loses."

"No," I said. "I think we should all leave and let these two players fight each other."

"Agreed, and to raise the stakes higher, why don't we make it so that the losers—both the player and his or her trainer(s)—are perma-banned?"

"I accept," I said. "If you win, i10v3myL1p5, SuperPrincessPuffy, and I are all perma-banned. If we win, you and UltimateAdmin are perma-banned."

"What?" said i10v3myL1p5, SuperPrincessPuffy, and UltimateAdmin.

"Then it's settled," said Dangeresque1872 as he left the server to spectate. "Prepare to lose."

"Good luck, SuperPrincessPuffy," I said as i10v3myL1p5 and I left.

…

Needless to say, the fight was nightmarishly lopsided, and in the end, SuperPrincessPuffy was victorious. I'd normally describe the three-stock match in detail, but in this case, that would only add undue insult to injury.

"Wow," said Dangeresque1872 reentering the server. "That was nightmarishly useless."

"Uh…" said i10v3myL1p5, "what are we supposed to do?"

"I believe that we are to act upon our deal," I said.

"Bah," said Dangeresque1872. "As if I'd agree to such a silly deal as that."

"You mean…"

"That's right. I lied. I never really intended to follow through with letting myself get perma-banned, and even if I did get perma-banned, no matter how many times it happened to me, I'd always find a way to come back, for I am—"

"Eat this!" shouted a familiar voice, and on cue, a bright bluish green burst of energy exploded around Dangeresque1872, propelling him high into the air.

In an instant, he was pinballed across the stage by Johnny7, grave, and royalpain22. The last player to appear was 4NGRYCh|_|k.

"Imma firin' ma lazer," he quipped, smiting the downed Dangeresque1872 with a fully charged Giant Punch.

"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Dangeresque1872 as he soared out of the server.

"Heh heh. I've always wanted ta say that line."

"Wait a second," said SuperPrincessPuffy. "Where did you guys come from?"

"I brought them here," I said. "All have helped you in your development as a player."

"Technically," said royalpain22, "you're the one who needed developing, Senshi."

"What?"

"When you brought us together as a guild, you were rather arrogant and condescending to the rest of us, if not insecure as well. Now that you've had your chance to train someone to her fullest potential, I think we can safely say that you've matured as both a leader and a friend."

I gave thought to what royalpain22 said for a moment, and then spoke up.

"You're right," I said, "and I am glad to see all of you again. Thank you."

"Anytime," said SuperPrincessPuffy. "By the way, isn't there some kind of big tournament that you guys signed up for a while back?"

"Yes. Why don't you come with us?"

"I'll pass, but I'll be rooting for you—all of you, including i10v3myL1p5—all the way. And I think we all learned something after all that's happened: what makes players great isn't their rank or their skill, but the quality of their friends."

…

"Wait a sec," said 4NGRYCh|_|k. "Are we really gonna end it like this?"

"Yes," I said.

"That's really lame."

…

"Wait a second," said i10v3myL1p5. "Just what was Dangeresque1872 up to, anyway?"

"Well, you see," said royalpain22, "he had organized a team of hackers to hunt down and delete or ban high-level players so that they couldn't participate in the Dairantus Grand Tourney, and you were next on his list."

"How did you find all this out?"

"I've been spying on him ever since he appeared in Chapter 7. He was very easy to track; all I did was follow his IP address."

"That's pretty clever."

"And to think you were once a great hacker and you never thought of tracking him down."

"What?"

…

Eventually, we left the server and started training for the upcoming Dairantus Grand Tourney, which we ultimately won. And that's more or less the story of how Smash Seed was formed. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a guild meeting to head to in order to discuss adding new members. Goodbye.


End file.
